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Surviving a Borderline Parent is the first step-by-step guide for adult children of parents with borderline personality disorder.
Between 6 and 10 million people in the US suffer from borderline personality disorder. This book teaches adult children how to overcome the devastating effects of growing up with a parent who suffers from BPD.
Although relatively common, borderline personality disorder (BPD) is often overlooked or misdiagnosed by therapists and clinicians and denied by those who suffer from it.
Symptoms of this problem include unpredictability, violence and uncontrollable anger, deep depression and self-abuse. Parents with BPD are often unable to provide for the basic physical and emotional needs of their children. In an ironic and painful role reversal, BPD parents can actually raise children to be their caretakers. They may burden even very young children with adult responsibilities.
If you were raised by a BPD parent, your childhood was a volatile and painful time. This book, the first written specifically for children of borderline parents, offers step-by-step guidance to understanding and overcoming the lasting effects of being raised by a person suffering from this disorder. Discover specific coping strategies for dealing with issues common to children of borderline parents: low self-esteem, lack of trust, guilt, and hypersensitivity. Make the major decision whether to confront your parent about his or her condition.
- Sales Rank: #20655 in Books
- Published on: 2004-01-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.75" h x 6.00" w x .50" l, .63 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 185 pages
Review
“If Stop Walking on Eggshells has become the bible for people with a borderline family member, I predict that Surviving a Borderline Parent will become the ‘must have’ book for people who have a parent with borderline traits. Authors Kimberlee Roth and Freda Friedman have done a stunning job of validating the isolating experience of these ‘adult children,’ and more importnantly, shown them how to overcome the constant feelings of guilt, abnormality, and self-doubt. This book belongs on the shelf of every clinician and adult child with a borderline parent.”
—Randi Kreger, author of Stop Walking on Eggshells
“Kimberlee Roth and Freda Friedman provide comprehensive guidelines for adult children with borderline parents that help create balance and boundaries in these tumultuous relationships. The authors point to the need to break the ‘silent treatment’ around Borderline Personality Disorder and encourage clinicians to educate patients and family members about this diagnosis. This book is well worth the investment for any adult child with a borderline parent.”
—Christine A. Lawson, Ph.D., author of Understanding the Borderline Mother
“Life with a ‘normal’ parent can be hard enough. All of us have stories about low points in growing up. But ultimately we can look back on childhood with a warm feeling about our parents and feel that we were loved and nurtured. Not so for children of a parent with Borderline Personality Disorder. These adult kids may need to do years of work to recover from the narcissism of their caregivers. Surviving a Borderline Parent provides life-affirming signposts to the road back to emotional health.”
—Ross Werland, health editor for the Chicago Tribune
From the Publisher
This is the first step by step guide for adult children of parents with Borderline Personality Disorder. It teaches them how to overcome the devastating effects of growing up with a parent who suffers from BPD. Foreword is by Randi Kreger, coauthor of "Stop Walking on Eggshells" and "The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook."
About the Author
Kimberlee Roth is a health writer and journalist. She has written about Borderline Personality Disorder and topics related to physical and emotional well being for numerous newspapers and magazines, including the Chicago Tribune.
Freda Friedman, Ph.D., LCSW, is in private practice and a member of the Phoenix Institute in Chicago, Illinois. For the past twenty years, her primary clinical focus has been with Borderline Personality Disorder, providing treatment, education, support and consultation to people suffering from the disorder, their families and health care professionals working with them. She is on the board of several professional health care organizations and has developed BPD programs in New York and Chicago.
Most helpful customer reviews
11 of 11 people found the following review helpful.
This book helped me realize I'm not so broken afterall...
By Jayne
I wish I'd found this book sooner! I started seeing a therapist because I knew something was wrong with me, I just couldn't figure out what it was. She suggested that my mother might have BPD and that I do a little research on the subject. I found this book and read the first half in one night. I read a few pages, cried, read a few more pages, cried some more. Apparently everything "wrong" with me is a completely normal reaction to being raised by a mother with BPD. I'm still sorting through all the pain, guilt and trauma of spending the last 35 years convinced that I was the problem, but I have hope for the first time ever. With the help of this book and a therapist I believe I can build some self-esteem, find some confidence and start fully living for the first time ever. I'm really grateful.
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
Bless you if you are researching this topic
By susen
The title of this book is "surviving," which hints at the potentially deadly devastation the targeted child feels as the BPD parent rips at the child's self-esteem, crashes through boundaries, and undermines any sense of stability in belonging to a family. BPD is crazy-making because of the self-doubt that results from trying to make sense of the parent-child relationship gone wrong, the assumed guilt, the constant attempts to "be better," and, especially, the fruitlessness of trying to get others to understand. I found Friedman's words pretty much a life raft in a storm. She offers the validation I needed to replace the humiliation I had accepted. Friedman continues to help me in my journey-- . The audio version is especially soothing. Information is power.
14 of 14 people found the following review helpful.
Validation
By AmazonPenName
I have known for almost 10 years that my mother suffers from BPD (never been diagnosed, but I also know an undiagnosed alcoholic when I see one). It has been four years since I have stopped speaking to her. The hardest and best decision I have ever made.
Even though I have read many articles on the internet about BPD parents there has never been anything that has made me feel so validated in my recollection of my childhood. Since I have blocked out 80% of my childhood I can not fully articulate the terror I felt. I know I felt it, but I can't tell you specific events that caused it.
After reading the eerily familiar examples from the book's interviews, I beggan to feel relieved that I am not just an over-emotional attention seeking woman (something my mother convinced me of at a very young age), but a woman who was abused as a baby, child, teenager and adult.
I have both of my sister's reading this and they are having different reactions, so I know this book can be good for most people who survived a boderline parent.
Our husbands are planning on reading the book as well so they can fully appreciate our sometimes excessively emotional responses to situations.
I am now seeing a therapist because I don't feel embarrassed about my feelings.
I hope it helps other people the way it has helped me.
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